The car ride to the field is quiet except for a bouncing knee and a stomach full of butterflies. If that scene sounds familiar, you’re not alone — pre-game jitters are one of the most common things parents ask coaches and sports psychologists about, and the good news is they’re very manageable.
A short, repeatable pre-game routine gives kids something to control when everything else feels unpredictable. This guide breaks down exactly how to build one, step by step, including breathing techniques, warm-up structure, and what to say (and not say) in the final minutes before kickoff, tip-off, or first pitch.
Quick Answer
A good pre-game routine combines three things done in the same order every time: a physical warm-up, a brief breathing or calming exercise, and a simple focus cue or phrase. Doing the same short sequence before every game — starting 20-30 minutes out — trains the child’s body and mind to associate that routine with feeling ready, which lowers anxiety and improves focus over time.
Build the Routine in Three Layers
Start with the body. A light physical warm-up — jogging, dynamic stretches, a few sport-specific touches like passing or shooting — does double duty: it prepares muscles for play and burns off nervous energy. Keep it the same length and sequence every game so it feels automatic rather than like one more thing to think about.
Add a breathing or calming exercise next. Belly breathing is a good starting point for younger kids: sit or stand tall, one hand on the belly, breathe in slowly through the nose so the belly rises, then breathe out slowly through the nose or mouth. Repeat 5 to 10 times. Older kids and teens often do well with box breathing (inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4) or a slower pattern like inhaling for 4 and exhaling for 6-8, since a longer exhale is what actually triggers the body’s calming response.
Finish with a focus cue. This is a short phrase or mental picture the child repeats right before play starts — something like ‘calm, ready, go’ or picturing the first play of the game going well. The goal isn’t to eliminate nerves; a little bit of pre-game anxiety is normal and can actually sharpen focus and energy when it’s channeled well. The routine just gives kids a way to settle into a useful level of nervous energy instead of getting stuck in a spiral.
Fit It to Your Child’s Age and Personality
Younger children, roughly under age 9, tend to respond best to simple breathing and imagery rather than verbal self-talk strategies — think ‘smell the flower, blow out the candle’ instead of abstract instructions to ‘relax.’ Keep the routine short, playful, and led by you at first.
Older kids and teens can handle more structure: a written or mental checklist, visualization of specific plays, and self-talk cues they choose themselves. Letting a tween or teen have ownership over their own routine — picking their own warm-up song or cue phrase — tends to make it stick better than a routine imposed entirely by a parent or coach.
Watch how your child actually responds to nerves. Some kids go quiet and need space; others want to talk it out or joke around. Build the routine around what genuinely calms your specific kid rather than a one-size-fits-all script.
Tips and Common Mistakes
Practice the routine on regular days, not just before big games. A breathing exercise or focus cue only works under pressure if it’s already familiar — rehearsing it during a normal practice week makes it a reliable tool instead of something new and unfamiliar in a high-stakes moment.
Avoid last-minute pep talks packed with instructions. In the final minutes before a game, a nervous child’s brain has a harder time processing detailed coaching points. The priority is helping them feel calm and regulated first; technical reminders land better earlier in the routine, not in the last 60 seconds.
Don’t let the routine become a superstition that causes stress if it’s broken. If the pregame snack gets forgotten or the warm-up gets cut short because of a scheduling issue, help your child understand the routine is a helpful habit, not a magic requirement for playing well.
Keep your own energy calm and matter-of-fact in the pre-game window. Kids pick up on parent anxiety quickly, and a parent visibly stressed about the game can undercut even a well-built routine.
Normalize the nerves out loud. Telling a child that feeling nervous before a game is completely normal — and even a sign their body is getting ready to perform — tends to reduce the fear of the feeling itself, which is often worse than the nerves.
Explore more: More parent guides for youth sports.
Pre-Game Routine for Kids FAQs
How long should a pre-game routine be?
Somewhere between 10 and 30 minutes total works for most kids, depending on age and the sport. Younger children usually do better with a shorter, simpler version, while older athletes can handle a longer, more structured sequence.
What if my child refuses to do breathing exercises?
Don’t force a specific technique. Try framing it as a game (like pretending to blow out candles or smell a flower) for younger kids, or let older kids choose their own method, such as listening to a specific song or doing a physical warm-up they find calming instead.
Is it normal for kids to feel sick or anxious before every game?
Mild nerves, an upset stomach, or a racing heart before competition are common and not usually a cause for concern. If anxiety is severe, happens well before game day, or is stopping your child from wanting to play at all, it’s worth talking with a pediatrician or a sports psychologist.
Should the routine change for away games or big tournaments?
Keep the core structure the same — warm-up, breathing, focus cue — even when the setting changes. Familiarity is what makes the routine calming, so resist the urge to add a lot of extra steps just because a game feels bigger.
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Photo by Veronika Selina on Unsplash.